it has been a long time. was very much in many emotional moments in the past few months, at times i was laughing, at times i was crying, at times, i'm just so confused of what i'm feeling.
we got back together. well at least that's what he thinks. in my terms, probably not. am tired, and afraid of what might be installed for us. don't dare to look too far ahead.. as i know the change will be taking place soon. very soon. the question is ..do i want that change? at times i feel like i do, to leave everything behind.but at times, i'm not sure if i can leave it all.
been thinking bout the different men in my life.how i crossed paths with them, how i met them in the first place, and how i ended up having emotional ties with them, and to some point physical attachments.
The one man i can't seem to forget, i saw him back in Dec, he came over for breakfast, and we ended up having a whole different kind of breakfast. there's something between us that make things different, i know he isn't that available anymore, but i can't take him out of my mind at times.
The other man who is always by my side, i tend to take him for granted at times, i am seeing more of him now, and at times he makes me very happy, but at times, he makes me so sad.
perhaps i really need the change, the move to walk away and find a whole new me.. i dunno..
Monday, January 19, 2009
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