the trip

Travelled out of town to meet up with some friends, well a friend. He is a dear friend whom i have been keeping in touch over phone and internet. Somehow the friendship took a flirty turn, and next thing i know we were talking bout kissing each other when we meet.

and I'm guilty as sentenced. I met some of his friends, had dinner with them, and hang out till late. When we got back to his place, I unloaded my things in the spare room next to his. After a warm shower, I went to the bed and tried to sleep. Knowing that he is just next door, i was tempted to crawl into his bed. Then he came over, tucked me under the blanket, and asked me to kiss him goodnight, there's where our lips were locked tightly to each others, our tongues ravaging hungrily, and i pulled him onto the bed, and continue kissing him. Part of me thought he was just going to stop there, but i so wanted him to continue...

He slowly let his hands move down to my bottom, caressing me gently, my skin burnt where his fingers trailed.. I wanted more, needed him.. he slowly slide off my spaghetti top, while the other hand cupped my breast. I whispered into his ears..
"Don't be shy"

That's why he pulled off my top and my lacy bra... he stopped to remove his shirt and pants. Then he came back on top of me, covering me with more of his hungry kisses, trailing down my naked body. He stopped at my belly, untied the drawstring on my shorts, my stomach lurched as he did. Sucking in my breath, as he lowered his lips to the warm spot between my thighs, and probed his tongue into my very wet centre. Not long, we were two bodies combined into one, holding each other close, and sharing intimate thoughts.

That night was special, it brought our friendship to a whole new level. Yet, we are still just friends.

to change or not

it has been a long time. was very much in many emotional moments in the past few months, at times i was laughing, at times i was crying, at times, i'm just so confused of what i'm feeling.

we got back together. well at least that's what he thinks. in my terms, probably not. am tired, and afraid of what might be installed for us. don't dare to look too far ahead.. as i know the change will be taking place soon. very soon. the question is ..do i want that change? at times i feel like i do, to leave everything behind.but at times, i'm not sure if i can leave it all.

been thinking bout the different men in my life.how i crossed paths with them, how i met them in the first place, and how i ended up having emotional ties with them, and to some point physical attachments.

The one man i can't seem to forget, i saw him back in Dec, he came over for breakfast, and we ended up having a whole different kind of breakfast. there's something between us that make things different, i know he isn't that available anymore, but i can't take him out of my mind at times.

The other man who is always by my side, i tend to take him for granted at times, i am seeing more of him now, and at times he makes me very happy, but at times, he makes me so sad.

perhaps i really need the change, the move to walk away and find a whole new me.. i dunno..