was feeling a little emotional yesterday.
am thinking bout the diff people in my life. at the moment, i'm thinking about 2. one who needs me badly and one who i should not be missing.
the one that i should not miss put up pictures of someone on Facebook. that someone means a lot to him, and infact it shows so much that he is not available ANYMORE ! then what am i thinking? we have stopped texting each other that much. even if there are any msges, they are very brief, and decent ones.
It's something i need to deal with, something i need to learn how to do without. i have subconsciously taken him as part of my life, expecting to see him a lot.. but who am i trying to kid? besides myself..
I hate the fact that my feelings are so deep for him. just hate it. hate the fact that things traces back such a long way back..
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
my heart
am feeling terribly miserable.
should be happy. found out that he is not leaving after all. will remain here.
SO?? he is not yours. he never was, and never will be.
what am i doing? why am i allowing myself to feel like this?
it's crazy to be pining after someone that you can never have, and i should be working out things with the one who is waiting for me to take him back.
suddenly i find myself at a point of my life, when i don't know what i really want.at some point, i thought i was perfectly ok with being single and unattached as i know there is very much more out there in the big big world that i want to see, feel and gain.
when i look around, and i see people settling down after being together for years, i being to ponder, how do they know if they are ready to settle down, and i'm envious of how they have reach that till death do us part decision?
when do you know? can someone tell me?
should be happy. found out that he is not leaving after all. will remain here.
SO?? he is not yours. he never was, and never will be.
what am i doing? why am i allowing myself to feel like this?
it's crazy to be pining after someone that you can never have, and i should be working out things with the one who is waiting for me to take him back.
suddenly i find myself at a point of my life, when i don't know what i really want.at some point, i thought i was perfectly ok with being single and unattached as i know there is very much more out there in the big big world that i want to see, feel and gain.
when i look around, and i see people settling down after being together for years, i being to ponder, how do they know if they are ready to settle down, and i'm envious of how they have reach that till death do us part decision?
when do you know? can someone tell me?
Friday, July 18, 2008
last night
was feeling very miserable last night. was feeling lonely.
missed him a lot.wait a minute, which him is that? it's the one that i can never have.
i have not seen him for months.. let alone feel and touch him...
heard from him the other day, and was told that he is going away again... my heart sank a little.well he should be going back, back to where he belongs..to whom he belongs to..
my exact thoughts - is the grass always greener on the other side? that patch of grass over there always looks a bit more tempting then the one you are stepping on.
was feeling really lonely last night.. was browsing the files in my pc, came across our chats that i've saved for future reading.it was some steamy and lusty chats we had.
thoughts bout him filled my head, the very brief moments we shared kept playing in my mind..
oh how i missed you..can't wait to have your lips on mine.. your body against mine .. again..
missed him a lot.wait a minute, which him is that? it's the one that i can never have.
i have not seen him for months.. let alone feel and touch him...
heard from him the other day, and was told that he is going away again... my heart sank a little.well he should be going back, back to where he belongs..to whom he belongs to..
my exact thoughts - is the grass always greener on the other side? that patch of grass over there always looks a bit more tempting then the one you are stepping on.
was feeling really lonely last night.. was browsing the files in my pc, came across our chats that i've saved for future reading.it was some steamy and lusty chats we had.
thoughts bout him filled my head, the very brief moments we shared kept playing in my mind..
oh how i missed you..can't wait to have your lips on mine.. your body against mine .. again..
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